Here are some fabulous print outs! This is some of the furniture that you have seen here on our show, “formal review”.
If you look at the print outs you have noticed that they cannot freely stand if you simply cut them out– they cannot FUNCTION three dimensionally if you simply follow what is on the page.
Well that’s where YOU come in!
This is YOUR time to shine because YOU get to create the function!
I’m not your dad, ya know?… I’m not here to tell you what to do.
The thing is I know that the freedom to do what you want can also be demanding, scary, or even EXHAUSTING.
In a world where we have to make so many choices every day such open-endedness in a fantasy space that otherwise should allow us to escape the exhaustion of choice can be brutal!
We actually do have some suggestions for those of you that are not “up for it” and just want to be given further instruction.
There is no shame in that by the way!
There is no wrong way right way best way or worst way!
Here at “formal review” we love you unconditionally and understand that everyone has different spaces, lifestyles, desires and comfort zones: all of these are allowed and welcome!
Take what you wish!
1. Cardboard supports:
Cut out out however many right triangles you need and glue the spine of one of sides of the right triangles glue a penny under the base of the triangle for further support.
Fucking eat it, eat the furniture. Dip it in a sauce maybe? Put it in a soup, it’s only paper right? How bad can it really be. If it does end up that bad let us know at (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Print out the furniture until you have a deck of 52 pieces of furniture. Create a deck of cards with them. Gamble your life savings away or perhaps even Venmo me that money and I’ll be “the dealer” in that transaction. I’ll even throw in like some souvenirs for you so you can just say you lost it all in Atlantic City.
4. Worship Study:
Make them int pins and wear a different one every day so you publicly display that you worship me and nobody even has to know. How did you even find this webpage?
Make the furniture into different furniture using origami. There’s no joke here we just liked that one.
6. Waste Management:
Wipe your ass with it and report back the experience to me at email@example.com
Use the furniture to blot your tears for when the show inevitably either moves you or bores you to the point of weeping,
8. Furniture Tomatoes:
During the airing of the next episode of formal review crumple the furniture up into balls and throw those at the screen as you watch and see something that you don’t like. You can even say to people “I actually hated that show so much I threw a chair at watergh0st” and they’ll go “who?”
9. Roach Motel:
Take the cut outs of the furniture and glue them under your sink or wherever else you have been propagating cockroaches recently so to provide them a bit more hospitality. This can work for any vermin.
Take the cut outs and throw them in the trash to make your garbage prettier. Maybe even laminated them or put them in resin with an interesting material. Either way, this is clearly wasteful as an exercise and you should really think about your actions.